


Benjamin Buttons and His Cup Of Brandy

by Irrelevantrelevancy



Series: Paint The Sky [3]
Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I literally had no reason to write this, I swear, M/M, this was supposed to be fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26185276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irrelevantrelevancy/pseuds/Irrelevantrelevancy
Summary: The reception was beautiful, far more luxurious than Buttons felt he deserved. He felt just a little self conscious in his layaway suit while everyone else was dressed to the nines. Jack looked like royalty, it was a little freaky seeing his friend who used to wear the same three shirts dressed like a king. This whole day felt freaky in general, like a blast to the past but not at the same time. He couldn’t describe it. Just a few days prior he had been in his dorm,sipping on wine and trying not to cry over his fashion history essay. Now he was back in New York where it all started, his home
Relationships: Buttons/JoJo (Newsies)
Series: Paint The Sky [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891075
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Benjamin Buttons and His Cup Of Brandy

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I can't write for these boys without making them suffer

The reception was beautiful, far more luxurious than Buttons felt he deserved. He felt just a little self conscious in his layaway suit while everyone else was dressed to the nines. Jack looked like royalty, it was a little freaky seeing his friend who used to wear the same three shirts dressed like a king. This whole day felt freaky in general, like a blast to the past but not at the same time. He couldn’t describe it. Just a few days prior he had been in his dorm,sipping on wine and trying not to cry over his fashion history essay. Now he was back in New York where it all started, his home. And he hadn’t visited in so long because he knew how he was. He knew the minute he touched down at JFK he wouldn’t want to go back. He liked Europe well enough but this, this was his home. 

Then the guilt started creeping in. He came here with a clear agenda,be a good friend,congratulate the couple and then be on his way. How did that turn into him perched at the open bar, sipping on brandy? He sighed, how did seeing Jojo after all those years still make his stomach turn?

How could Jojo act as if he wasn’t a monster?

They had made so many plans together, plans made on the rooftops of abandoned buildings and only said at the hush of night so the world couldn’t taint them. Plans that were spoken from cherry sweet lips that Buttons once knew like the back of his hand--no, he knew those lips like he knew his way around a needle and thread. He needed them, he needed to be in Jojo’s arms, he needed to know that they were okay. But how could they be okay? Jojo had stuck to those plans through and through to the very end, but then life took such a sour turn that Buttons left.

No, he didn’t just leave. He ran, like a coward. He jumped at the first opportunity to leave because he felt suffocated by the city, felt suffocated every time he passed the seamstress shop of the woman who raised him. The woman he had to put into the ground, in a coffin that was less than what she deserved because he was only seventeen. And Jojo had been there for it all. Jojo had been there counting his beads and mumbling silent prayers in a language that sounded like music, it sounded like ambrosia must have tasted to the gods, it was worship and it was beautiful and Jojo was beautiful and god did Buttons need another drink.

He got the attention of the bartender and didn’t even have to speak before his glass was being refilled. He wanted to laugh at himself, how pathetic must it be to be crying at a wedding? A soft chuckle slid past his lips as he sipped his brandy. He wanted something harder, something to make him forget, maybe even put him into a long sleep. He wanted to forget words that sounded like music and the widest smile he’s ever seen in his life. He wanted to forget how that hand had felt in his own as they walked side by side down the aisle. How for a moment it almost seemed like he wouldn’t let go, like they could stay like that forever. But the second Jojo let go, reality came crashing down around him.

Buttons had been the one who fucked up. He went back on his promise and had left. Without a call or a text he had gotten on a plane and hadn’t been back since. And he had the audacity to speak to Jojo like none of that even happened. How had no one else seen the way his eyes dimmed, the way his smile faltered? He was hurt. He had every right to be hurt and Buttons wanted to fix it. But how could he? How do you even start to fix the biggest mistake of your life?

How cou-

“Benny,”a warm voice said, soon after he felt a hand on his shoulder. He froze, he wasn’t even sure if he was breathing.

“Benny, look at me” but he couldn’t, how could he when he felt so awful? The hand on his shoulder moved to gently cup his jaw and tilted it.

“You’re crying”

He was? He brought a hand up to his face and sure enough there were definitely tears there.

“I’m sorry”He whispered.

“What are you sorry for?”Jojo asked.

“I..”he trailed off, a sob threatening to shoot to the surface. And Jojo knew, just how he always seemed to know.   


“Let’s take this outside,”Jojo said. He didn’t give Buttons a chance to react before leading him away from the bar and outside the venue hall. Buttons thought that was where they were going to stop but Jojo had kept walking until they were outside the castle. The night air felt chilly against his tear slicked face, he shivered.

“What happened?”Jojo asked.

“I-I don’t know what you mean”He stammered, he wished he was drunk.

“You know exactly what I mean,”Jojo said patiently. “No one just sits at a bar and cries”

“I can’t”He croaked. His heart pounded against his chest and his face now felt hot, his entire body felt like he was burning.

“Yes you can”Jojo said, “You can tell me anything”

“Why?”He blurted out, he wanted to punch himself.

Jojo tilted his head, “what do  _ you _ mean?”

“Why-”He took a shaky breath, “Why do you still care about me?”

“Am I not supposed to?”Jojo chuckled, though his eyes were serious.

“No,”Buttons said slowly. Jojo’s eyes seemed to flood with realization. He took a seat on the steps of the manor and motioned for Buttons to sit as well. Once they were both seated, Jojo took one of his hands and looked directly into his eyes.

“If we have this talk there’s no going back”Jojo said.

“I want to”Buttons whispered.

“You left me”he said, in a voice so calm he could be saying the weather. So calm that it knocked the wind out of Buttons’ chest. He startled a bit but Jojo just squeezed his hand and continued. 

“You left me, Benny...but I forgave you a long time ago”

Buttons eyes began to water once again. “Why?”

“Because it was the only way I could move on” and for the first time that night Buttons had seen Jojo's face grow serious. The smile that seemed to split his face in two was replaced with somber eyes. “You hurt me”

“I’m sorry”

“I know”Jojo said, shaking his head. “I know you’re sorry, and i’m sorry too”

“For what?”he said. Jojo squeezed his hand and for the second time that day he let go.

“For leading you on” Buttons felt his heart flutter, and not in a good way. It felt like it had fluttered into an electrical wire and sent his whole body seizing up. He pulled back as if he had been burned. Jojo gave a sad smile and folded his hands in his lap.

“I wanted to pretend”Jojo whispered, “I wanted to pretend that we were okay and I didn’t want to make a fuss because it’s Jack and Davey’s day. I saw you and...and I thought we would just bounce back, like nothing happened, like you hadn’t broke my heart”

“I broke your heart?”He said, he felt mortified.

Jojo nodded and brought a hand up to rub his face. “I’ve thought of having this conversation for years. I wanted to scream at you, I wanted to tell you just how broken you left me. But i’m an adult now and I don’t have time to sit around and cry anymore. I couldn’t keep living in the past, I dreamt of you coming back, of you answering my calls, of you holding me like we used to-”

“Jojo-”he sobbed.

“-but I had to face the music,”Jojo continued. “I still care about you, I never told anyone what you did because I didn’t want them to hate you. But I...I can’t play pretend anymore-”

“W-what if it’s not pretend”He interjected, wiping his eyes. “I’ll move back Jojo, I can do school onl-”

In that moment something seemed to snap deep inside of Jojo because the soft look in his eyes shifted to rage.

“If it wasn’t pretend you wouldn’t have left in the first place!”Jojo exploded, the silence that followed was deafening, but the outburst must have broken a dam because Jojo was livid. “How can you tell me I meant everything to you and not even tell me you’re moving? I tried to reach out to you for months until I found out from Jack that you had moved to fucking  _ Scotland _ ! I held onto the dream of you coming back for years and-I- _ ugh _ , fuck you Benjamin! Just fuck you!”

Seeing Jojo angry was about as rare as seeing a shooting star, and Buttons couldn’t believe that he was the cause of it.

“I left because I felt alone-”He tried to explain, but jojo wasn’t having it.

“And you couldn’t just tell me!”Jojo shouted. “I loved you so much! I gave every  _ inch _ of myself to you and you-you  _ left _ me!”

Then came the tears. Silent tears that seemed to shoot down his read face, Buttons had tried to comfort him but Jojo had shoved him away.

“Do not touch me”the words said through clenched teeth.   


“What can I do?”He whispered.

“Did I even mean anything to you?”Jojo asked, rubbing roughly at his eyes.

“Of course you meant something to me!”He spluttered.

“Then why did you leave me?”

“Because I was fucking stupid”He said, “I was stupid and i’m so sorry”

“That’s all you have to say?”Jojo said, “You disappear for six years and that’s all you have to say?”

“Joj...I-”

“I don't want to hear it”Jo said, shaking his head. “You can leave and take your bullshit excuses with you”

“I don’t want to leave you out here,”He said.   


“Oh now you don’t want to leave” 

Maybe it was the way Jojo had practically spat the words or maybe it was the disgust on his face, but it struck a nerve deep inside of him.

“I left because I felt suffocated,”He said sharply. “I left because my mom had just died and I couldn’t stand living in the city where her body was buried, so I ran! And yeah, it was a dick move but I was seventeen years old and fucking stupid!”he shouted,”I didn’t tell you because I  _ knew _ you were going to try to talk me out of it and I  _ knew _ you were going to succeed and I didn’t want that! I know it was wrong, I know Jojo! I was scared to reach out because i’m a coward and I suck at facing my problems! I...I thought if I tried to forget about you, I would stop loving you but obviously that’s not how things work”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,”Jojo said, after a few beats. “You fucked up, Benny. You fucked up big time”

“I know,”he sighed.

“I thought I forgave you,”Jojo said, shaking his head, “But I don’t even know...I...don’t know. This isn’t some movie where we yell and make up...you’re a few years too late, Benny”

“No”He whispered, “no, please. Jojo please just...i’m sorry, let me make it up to you”   


“And how are you going to do that?”Jojo laughed, “You turned my whole life upside down, you made me feel like I was the only thing that mattered, we had  _ plans _ . Then you leave me to pick up the pieces of the mess  _ you _ made”His voice had taken on a distant and stony quality, his eyes stared at nothing. “I played nice today, but don’t even think anything will  _ ever _ come of this. I’ll be your friend, i can do that but I-”He took a deep breath, “I will not take another heartbreak like that,lying to our friends about why I changed just to save your ass. I can’t believe I did that”

“That’s fair,”Buttons said. “I...this is what I deserve”

“Don’t play with people's hearts, Benny”He said, “Especially the people who cared about you the most”

Buttons nodded, “Can you just do me one favor?”

Jojo hummed.

“Please just...please don’t call me Benny anymore”   


“Alright, Buttons,”Jojo said briskly, without another word he got up and walked back into the manor. Now Buttons was once again alone in the world without even dreams of Jojo to fall back on. So this was it, this was what happened when your worst fears became your reality. He looked at the cup of brandy that sat next to him, half empty.

He took a sip.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I'm really new to writing this ship so a comment would go a long way, I know it's not the best work i've written but I had fun doing it


End file.
